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Lowering Your Expectations

Here’s something I’m passionate about: drivers should indicate when they are turning or changing lanes. I get really upset when I’m about to step out into the road and a jeep careens around the corner in front of me, or when I’m driving and a car slows down in front of me for no apparent reason, and then veers off to the side.

I can easily justify my anger because the law is on my side, and most people probably agree with me and feel similar to an extent. So, if I’m right and they’re wrong, why am I the one who’s upset? The non-indicator is most likely oblivious to the whole thing and happily continuing on with their day. I’m feeling upset and irritable, and while I’m in this state I’m disconnected from the people and things that are actually important to me.

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A Tribute to the Unsexy Marriage

You’ve seen the movie: the successful, charmingly goofy guy chases the cute, quirky, insanely successful girl and overcomes some superficial issue to create a grand romantic gesture that brings quirky girl to tears and they live happily ever after. Or something like that.

But in real life most male goofiness is just embarrassing and not at all charming or endearing. And most of us aren’t hip journalists or trendy bakers. We are plain jane accountants, joe plumbers, supply managers in warehouses for mid-tier cleaning supplies distributors. Our life reflects “The Office” better than these movies.

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Almost all advice is bad advice

Take all of the advice you’ve ever been given in your life — from friends, family, colleagues, teachers, internet strangers, everyone — and ask yourself: “how much of this advice actually changed my life for the better?”

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You’re a mess, your partner’s a mess, and that’s a beautiful thing

If I only ever learn one thing, it’ll be this: everyone has issues. People come into my therapy space who seem very well put-together: well-dressed, good job, living in a nice house with a picture perfect family to boot. These are the people that everyone sees as the model of success and good mental health. Then they start to tell me all of the deep dark secrets that they struggle with on a daily basis. I love it! It’s such a relief to know that we’re all struggling with something.

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